Best Funny Quotes About Life

Best Funny Quotes About Life, The journey of life is truly magnificent with all that life has to offer!!! On one hand, if life brings troubles, anger, disappointments, and tears; it also gives you a chance to see the beauty of life by bringing happiness, success, friends, love, and laughter into your life

 Best Funny Quotes About Life

• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. ~ Jack Handey
• If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat? ~ Tom Snyder
• Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid doing entirely. ~ Anonymous
• Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. ~ Homer Simpson
• I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" ~ Unknown
• Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ~ Author Unknown
• Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. ~ Author Unknown
• All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner
• Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. ~ P.D. East
• It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. ~ Anonymous
• Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~ Charles Schulz
• A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~ Fred Allen
• You can't have everything....where would you put it? ~ Anonymous
• I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth. ~ Janeane Garofalo

Readmore Best Quotes About Life